7:00am: Wake up starving and start to wonder whether this is a plausible way to eat for the rest of my life. Think about eating Pupface, who is now moaning to come out and play.

8:00am-8:45am: YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME, PUNK? YO. YO. MOVE. OOOOOH, I SEE YA NOW YEAH IN THE FAST LANE...

11:00am: Somewhere between 9:00am and now, I have stopped feeling hungry at all.

1:00pm: Ah, yum, FOOD!!

4:15pm: No snack needed.

From here on in, I had no hunger issues - stopping to eat a banana at around 6pm....

Day 1
http://www.diaryofapoleaddict.com/blog/intermittent-fasting-day-1-i-told-you-i-need-supervision

Day 2
http://www.diaryofapoleaddict.com/blog/intermittent-fasting-day-2-what-if-i-lick-this

STARVING.

So.

Hungry.

9:30 am: If I lick my phone do you think it has enough food residue on it to break the fast...?

10:15am: I think my stomach is eating itself.

11:07am: Why does my planner smell so good...?

11:25am: It smells of....cinnamon?

11:31am: Or is it hot cross buns?

11:45am:

*caught sniffing said planner by student* 

....

"it smells good"

"ooookay"

"I'm hungry....so hungry..."

*nervous laughter*

12:30pm: Oh. There's something sticky and sweet smelling on it....if I lick it....

12:31pm: Nope.

12:45pm: Almost there.

1:09pm: Food Glorious food, I'M anxious to try it, three banquets a day, MY favourite diet.

3:55pm: SO. HUNGRY....

Day 1
​http://www.diaryofapoleaddict.com/blog/intermittent-fasting-day-1-i-told-you-i-need-supervision

This doesn't seem like such a great idea. Who the HELL let me make my own decisions again!!

​Hungry. SO. HUNGRY...

11:00am: When I open my hangbag to retrieve my phone, I find a half eaten bun that I'd stashed in there on Thursday.

Hmm. Still looks good...

12:15: After rummaging around in the bottom of my bag for a pen, I found two licorice allsorts, covered in lint, dog hair and something suspiciously sticky and brown...

1:00pm: couldn't come soon enough.

After the fast was broken the afternoon was bearable. I made it to my in-car snack (4:15pm) with no trouble, but thereafter the GATES OF HELL had opened.

I might never make it...

"I am just going outside and may be some time..."

​In my infinite wisdom, I have decided to try Intermittent Fasting. After reading about this eating pattern in depth, I realised that it's not only about the "fast all day" approach, and that actually it resembles my normal eating patterns fairly closely - only I never leave myself long enough to begin the "fasting" phase.

I've left some links below with the sources I have read/watched which informed my decision.

So, without further ado...

I've decided to try a month of IF, and for my own sanity have decided to document this first week.....

Stay tuned to see how it goes...

​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIuj-oMN-Fk
https://authoritynutrition.com/intermittent-fasting-guide/
https://www.dietdoctor.com/intermittent-fasting
https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/a-beginners-guide-to-intermittent-fasting/
​http://www.bodybuilding.com/content/intermittent-fasting-science-and-supplementation.html

A couple of weeks ago I started noticing that the injury in my shoulder was resurfacing. It started innocently enough, with some tingly numbness that's been fairly common for me ever since the original injury.

Nothing too bad.

Then, suddenly it hit me like a tonne of bricks. Pain that stabbed me in the middle of the night, numbness and tingling throughout the day. Being unable to grip the sheets on the bed first thing in the morning and a new development to add to the fun, the sensation of my hand being held in a slow-burning fire.

Such fun.

I immediately stopped training and did my best to rest the offending area and with this comes the most important realisation I've made in a long time. Possibly one of the top five realisations in the course of my life.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been stuck in a cycle of feeling very sorry for myself, with a "why does this shit always happen when I get going" mindset. "Why me?". "I'm NEVER going to lose this weight. It's pointless."

I felt like I was getting nowhere and it was all worthless, spiriling into a chasm of self-pity when I realised that I was getting nowhere because I'd simply stopped moving.

I have an all or nothing personality, which I have affectionately dubbed my "binary" personality. Either I work out 6 times a week, eat close to perfectly and become slightly obsessive or I sit around in my PJs eating chocolate watching TV. I'm either ON, or I am OFF. There is no scale.

I have next to no experience of being in an "in-between" state. My entire life has been ditacted by this characteristic. Either I WILL do something, or I won't. Sometimes this has served me very well - when I agree to do something, I do it. And I do it properly. I don't use the word "try". I wholeheartedly adopt Yoda's wisdom "do or do not, there is no try". I flinch when people tell me they will "try" to do something, and often they'll hear something like "well, will you or won't you?".

Sometimes this is a GREAT trait to have. Sometimes it makes me a bit of a jerk and sometimes it has lead me into a hodgepodge of bad decisions. Like everything it has it's pros and cons.

When it comes to being injured though.

"If I can't workout, why bother?".

Oooops.

Being injured sucks, but it doesn't have to mean everything comes to a screaming halt. 

Fitness is like taking wedding vows: "in sickness and in health, I will love and honour you all of the days of my life".

My 'binary personality' has led me into a situation where I am only been able to cope with things when I am in health. 100% effort. Everything working, but this can't always be the case.

This is where my journey truely starts: learning how to give 100% when I'm not at 100%. I think this will be one of the largest challenges I ever face.

I've been thinking, racking my brains trying to work out how to do this properly and here are FIVE things I have decided will be helpful following this epiphany:

1. Set small DAILY goals, for example: "log your food today", "eat a vegetable", "hit 5000 steps". Work with the parts of yourself that are adaptive. My strengths are that when goal setting happens: goals get done. Without goals, I wander. Lost. In this case "she who wanders is definitely lost and looking for chocolate" and Give yourself reminders daily. If I'm not hauling ass trying to meet a goal, I will forget. Either I do something VERY routinely, or not at all and to add to this I have the memory span of an oxygen deprived goldfish. Possibly shorter. I have made good use of the calendar on my phone for this exact purpose "Wednesday, Friday, Sunday 6pm: work out for 30 minutes"
2. Focus on giving 100% on a particular area of health and/or fitness. I've been a  bit obsessed with trying to get EVERYTHING perfect, but that's not happening for now so instead of attempting to get all of my ducks in a line I'm aiming at getting at least one or two. For example: hit your macro target today, focus on making healthy food selections (rather than eating a packet of haribo, three cream eggs and a chocolate yoghurt for lunch ;)).
3. Keep in mind a clear timeframe. For instance "I will not go to the gym, or increase my activity with any kind of fervour until I have my electromyography exam on Thursday".
4. Make things easier for yourself. Plan your weekly food/exercise schedule ahead of time (this is generally good advice for anything in my opinion, after all "failing to prepare is preparing to fail!" ;)
5. Don't be a complete bitch to yourself. No, you're not slacking. No, it's (probably) not your fault. Yes, it will improve. Yes, you CAN STILL DO THIS.

Overall: Work with yourself. Examine your strengths, understand the points in which you need development. Be kind, be gentle and celebrate your victories.

Have you been in a similar situation? What advice would you give people who are struggling through injury?

Things I learned today:

• Don't greet your dog for "kisses" if you've just eaten beef jerky. Not unless you want to initiate a creepily intimate relationship with them...
• If you join a new fitness class and ask someone "is this hard" they will lie. I guess saying "you'd probably be happy to drown in a puddle of stale sweat from that huge dude who hasn't washed in three weeks approximately 2.34 minutes into this class" would be a bit of a downer.
• Chocolate soy milk is an addictive substance...

This week I started a new job, teaching pleasant, eager people English in a mutlinational here in Naples.

I've had a blast of a week, but given that there was a, uh, transitory period where my sleeping patterns had to change.... slightly *clears throat awkwardly* I decided, in my full wisdom, to dial back on the powerlifting for the week. I'm not into the whole "lets raise your cortisol levels and put loads of fat on" scene.

​So anyway, a lighter lifting week. Great idea, sure. Instead, I decided to attend some of the fitness classes my gym offers with a friend.

We have the honour of having a great trainer who is resident at the gym, Walter. Or "Drill Coach", as we have come to fondly name him now. He gets results, he knows his stuff, he even speaks English. Fantastic!!

Like most of my questionable decisions, this all started with "what's the worst that can happen?!". What was the worst that could happen...?

We eagerly sign up to try out a couple of his evening classes. His booked to the rafters classes.

The first night we walk in to be confronted with a soft, stretchy, balance board. Right. 40 minutes of choreographed torture ensue. It was AMAZING. Even my knees were sweating as we left.

Alright! I turned up early for tonight's class expecting the balance boards of torturous goodness and instead found a step. And some weights.

Uhoh.

What's the worst that can happen?

Apparently even your eyebrows can sweat ;)

It all started ominously enough, it didn't disappoint. Squats, lunges, crunches, leg lifts, overhead presses, curls, presses....ohoh. It had it all.

It was FANTASTIC.

So much for a restful week eh...!

What did you learn this week? Did your fitness plans take an unexpected turn?

We don't talk much about all of the things that go on behind the scenes. The days where we don't want to move, the times we fail miserably at what we're attempting to do, the hours and minutes spent wishing that you could be better, do more.

Often we skip over these things, maybe because we think people don't want to know about them, or because we want to focus on the GOOD things that happen.

They're both good reasons, one should never dwell in the moments that leave you feeling like you're not enough, that you're too insubstantial to do a good job, whether it's at home, at work, during a workout, with your kids, with your pets, partners, friends; but nethertheless, they still make up an important narrative to our stories.

People fail. Sometimes miserably. I like to joke that I shouldn't be allowed to make decisions, since I make BAD decisions. I make. Bad. Decisions. And I don't do it small scale. Nope. I am a professional. I go in, I fuck up, I DO THE JOB RIGHT.

You might imagine that this has left me often at a cripplingly pointless or painful crossroad. Damn right it has but all of this, it's all part of a larger story that involves a person navigating a life. 

It can feel like you're alone, navigating through waters that aren't clear but you're not. Everyone fucks up. Sometimes big, sometimes small. Sometimes we even get it on video....

*clears throat*

Anyway. I wanted to tell you about today.

Today I've posted up on my various accounts things like "so proud, quad definition coming in", "oh what an amazing workout, yes, I'm pumped".

Bah. I was in a BAD mood today.

I got to the gym and immediately found a new level of blasphemy, someone was doing yoga in the squat rack. Next time you see someone doing curls there be grateful ;)

She went on to skip just in front of it, which not only made accessing the rack itself impossible but also lead to a rather interesting game of "will I get smacked in the face by that skipping rope" when I was collecting plates.

I've never had good timing.

Then there was another person who kept on intruding on my personal space. Can you imagine. Every time I moved up a bit, he'd move so that he was almost touching me again. And he had bad form.

Then the girls who I swore were laughing at my ungainly, oddly fluffy body....

I felt like I was "failing". I always try to maintain a positive view of the world, but it wasn't happening.

I was in a bad mood.

ME.

I was the problem.

There is always going to be someone who irritates you, unless you're one of those incessantly happy people and then that person is you....I'm kidding. Well. Maybe. Maybe not, you'll never know.

How YOU perceive the world. How you percieve your SUCCESS. That's ALL up to you. No one can tell you whether you're doing well or not. Whether you're successful or not. That is something YOU decide.

I almost walked out of the gym feeling like I would have to cover up my "poor" session by a fake, insincere "happy" smile, but you know what? I kicked ass today.

Behind every success there is a much wider narrative, made up of fails, mistakes, poor judgement and everything in between. Every Instagram feed that shows our successes doesn't show the same errors, the things that bring us to our knees. What is important is that you get back up, and just keep trying. Keep trying until you get there.

Recognise your accomplishments, recognise your faults and be honest with yourself. Every day isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows, but there is sunshine and rainbows to be found somewhere in every day. Don't give up looking.

Have you had an "epic fail" moment recently? How did you handle it?

Day 13. 

13 days.

We have run together for 13 days.

Rather than being filled with the spirit of Christmas and goodwill, Furface has engaged in all out war with the local strays. We suspect that these strays sent a detachment of cows to interupt our run yesterday, but that is simply conjecture,

Todays run was rough, after leaving the house, sniffing the wall and the kittens downstairs we engaged the hill of DEATH outside of our home. Whilst there are plenty of points to sniff, we powered on, completing the hill without even stopping to pee.

We were constantly assualted by a rather bitter and icy wind, that seemed intent on burning my skin off. No doubt Furface didn't even notice it.

There were a great many cars for us to chase, and even more people. We didn't much fancy exploring them today, deciding to continue running towards our favourite wheely bin.

My hips hurt, my butt hurt, my calves hurt, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, my lungs hurt but Furface constantly trotted next to me, looking up at me with her beautiful doggy grin as if to say "cmon, you can do this with me". We stopped a few times to investigate some patches of grass that makes us puke when we eat it (yes, I'm rolling my eyes as I write that) and once to investigate a moving bush. We believe there was a cat that escaped our attentions.

We meandered, slowly trotting, making our way up and then back down the hill before calling it a day just past the spot where the cows stopped us yesterday. We stopped to sniff where the cows had been, and take a bite of cow poop. Yum. Even better than horse poop. Yaknowimright.

Upon arriving home, we tried to sniff out the kittens from underneath the car, and then tracked down HoomanDaddy and the cat to assault them, in turn. HoomanDaddy took it better than Dave the cat, who does not appreciate having his head sat on by a 30kg ball of fur and steel. I mean, bones.

Having exhausted ourselves, we sat down to write a blog post to amuse other hoomans ;)

Running after legs day was tough, but completely worth it to see Furface grinning from ear to ear!

What was your workout today? Did you get some time with your furry companions?