“A year from now you will wish you had started today.”(Karen Lamb)
wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before
you, humiliated before you, raped before you… yet, someone survived… You can do
anything you choose to do.” –Maya Angelo
Today has "officially" been a year since I made the change. I decided to lose
weight. I decided that I was worth something and that I had better start
looking forward, I've not looked back since.
Well, I've looked back, but only at photos. Only at distant memories,
inklings of feelings that I remember having. I remember the self doubt. I
remember feeling hungry! I remember feeling like I was a huge blob that was
worth next to nothing; but I'd fought through the blackest depression. I had
come through the other side. I was NOT going to give up, I am worth something!
Anyway, today I'm allowed to look back. But not to go back, I am proud of
what I have achieved and a hell of a lot of it is due to my AMAZING friends
here and my great husband, well, here too. But a different here ;)
Anyway, about a year and a half ago my husband and I lived across the way
from a crazy cat lady. No jokes, she was honestly crazy and kept cats. She
would often put things she'd found in amusing from newspapersthrough our
letterbox, sometimes she'd wait outside our door for an hour before one of us
took her home. The cracker came when one day she put a picture of the two of us
through our letterbox....
I laughed it off, but she wasn't far wrong. I was fat. I'd been a size 16 on my wedding day - the one day where I wanted to feel beautiful and amazing and I was hot, heavy and sweaty. So not cool.
Still, these things didn't change anything. Even being banned from sitting on the garden chairs didn't
change anything, if I have one good trait it's my tenacity. Now, my grandad would call me obstinate, I've often been called stubborn, but I prefer the term tenacious. And that is something that has come in very handy for the past year....
One day I
got on the scale. I was 12st4Ibs. Certainly not my heaviest weight, I'd fluctuated right up to over 14st but I got off that scale and decided that I did not want to go back. To hell with being a blob. Change was upon me!
So I went upstairs and told everyone I was going to diet. There were the looks, you know the looks, the
"ummmhmmm" looks but that didn't matter, time would show them.
I started logging my food. I decided that I didn't want too agressive a calorie goal, because I knew I'd break. So I went with losing a pound a week, I think it came out at 1400. (Ha, I think I'd feel very deprived on that now!!).
A week later I found the C25K programme. I enlisted my mother-in-law to help me, and for a couple of weeks she did - although it's hard to say through clenched teeth, she really was the deal breaker ;) I was unemployed, again, at this point. But this time I was taking charge.
MiL didn't make it through the C25K. But I did. And I'm still going. Anyway, that's enough of this - I'll give you some of the stuff everyone likes, photos!
A mug shot from pre-weight loss!
“Live this day as
if it will be your last. Remember that you will only
find ''tomorrow'' on
the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and
ignore the problems
of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it
the best day of
your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ''If I had
my life to
live over again. ''Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or
stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person,
no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and
and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of
any reward. Your
life will never be the same again.”
Anyway, I'm a year in, 22Ibs lighter and I still have a way to go. My slightly less than great diet has plateued me, but hey, this happens, it's a learning curve. And this is something I want to pass on to newer friends, and even some of my old friends who feel that they're not doing so well:
This is a journey in time, it's not a moment. We're not separated by a seconds decision, hell, we're not separated by an hours decision. Its the consistent hours, days, weeks, years of your life that will make you who you want to be. It's a learning curve, we got fat somehow by making the wrong choices, whatever they were, now we have to learn to do it right. We're going to stumble, to trip and we might even wander off course sometimes; but we are NOT going to fall we are going to keep on going.
I will be right here cheering you on. (Looks like I found soem of my own words after all ;) ).
Thank you to everyone who has helped me, you are super stars.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that
says I’ll try again tomorrow.” -Mary Anne Radmacher