You went there didn't you. Take your mind out of the gutter!

Well. To be more precise it was Simon walking into the end of the bed at around 4:00am. When I humphed out of bed to go to the toilet (since he'd woken me up) he told me there was a deer eating in the grounds (that put him back in my good books). So I grabbed my glasses on the way to the toilet to look out of the window. On my journey to the rear window however; my foot encountered something wet and sticky.
Now having Dave the cat is a bit like having a senile, professional eating, mouth-incontinent goat. So I was immediately suspicious. On further inspection I discovered what was a pink, uninflated balloon that Dave had licked every. single. milimetre of. Yum.
Still, not quite as scarring as the time I stepped on a half-dead mouse. Yep. Half-dead.
Going back to bed I then managed to oversleep by about an hour. Waking up at 8:05am and having to be in at work at 8:30am is not my favourite idea of morning challenges. Still. Protein shake. Bag packed. Trainers on. Walked to work - 8:32am. Sweet.
As I walked in the door when I got home, I was greeted by Dave the cat sitting in the hallway, resolutely not looking at me. He continued to ignore me and when I bent down to stroke him, he shook himself off (still trying not too look at me) and stropped off. Apparently the taste of my foot on his pet balloon will not be tolerated.
Apparently that sin could be forgiven when I got the cat biscuits out.
All the while I'd been having an "important" discussion with my sisters via Whatsapp (namely who I was intending on *not* throttling yet). Waiting for a response from Sarah I decided to make myself some lunch. As I foraged through the cupboards I came across something illicit, something "bad" and something VERY banned in our household.
I found the Oreos.
Now I had THE dilemma.
Do I test my powers of self-control and ignore the Oreos.
Or do I eat them ALL to remove the temptation from the house (obviously doing EVERYONE in the house a favour....I'm kind hearted like that.....).
I ended up looking a bit like this....(yeah, I took a selfie....)
Instead of eating the packet of Oreo's I had a protein shake...yum >.<
I was somewhat distracted though by finding out the sound of shaking the shaker with the liquid in makes the cat go "lunar" (it's what we call the mood they get in when they start running around for no real reason). I did *not* follow him round with the shaker. Honest guv. He did not retaliate by chasing my feet when I started dancing to myself...
Anyway. What am I blabbing on about. Last night was POLE NIGHT!!
I can assure you that doing legs day, followed by pole day is not such a great idea. I had a "can't walk" day today.
Ah. Pole. My love.
Last night, we went to pole. We were on the bigger pole again (yes Tom, the pole was the same size as the one at the front - yes, it was further away which made it look smaller :p ).
Then we found out we'd been put with Aidan. Uh oh, Aidan is good.
When Karen came over she chatted to Aidan for a while, and whilst Tom-half a scoop of protein shake-Kozel and I had an argument about what a plank is (I'm still saying I'm right. Although I take half of the credit for the "fly-hold" saga) I caught Karen talking a few terms I'd not heard of. Then I made the mistake of catching her eye.
"Oh, Michelle, you can do this then".
Uhoh.
Welcome to the double-knee hold. Or as I prefer to call it, "say-goodbye-to-the-skin-on-the-inside-of-the-top-of-your-thighs-invert". Managed it once, all the while gritting my teeth (and every other part of my body) with Karen holding me and by golly, could I do it again? Lol.
Double Knee Hold. This is your life.
So there is my project for the next few weeks! I did manage to get something that Karen had dubbed "the most painful move she knows of". I respectfully disagree. The double knee hold wins.
So, my kind-of victory for the night? I present to you the Russian-sit.
It looks fairly simple, but the pressure on the inner ankle there....you can feel your bones, lol xD Guess it gets easier/less painful with practice.
A word of advice ladies and gents. Do NOT moisturise your legs before going to pole. Not even a couple of hours before. When I got there my legs started sweating (it was hot ok) and I tried to get into a sit.....wasn't having any of it. When Karen turned around I was desperately scrubbing at my legs with the cloth for the pole....it was a "what are you....um, never mind" moment.
Anyway, I've just been *trying* to play tennis. I spent most of the time running after the ball, so I'm a) pooped and b) really sweaty :P
I'm going to leave you with someone who reminds me just how baby-poler I really am. I want to BE her!!
Keep working for what you want ladies and gents.
Oh, and keep clicking/giving us your cash. We need it ;)
Remember ladies and gents, you're not too late to take part in our week long challenge - do 10 minutes of stretching or yoga a day!! Easy mode! Come on, take on the SS girls!!