This week has taken me through a roller coaster of emotions, realisations and acceptances. Last night I caught myself telling ME how awful I was, how I didn't deserve success. At one point I repeated a sentence out loud, to my hubby, that I'd only just told myself - "God you're disgusting. You've spent two years trying to lose weight and you've accomplished nothing. You're still fat. What a failure." I was horrified. I'd NEVER speak to anyone like that. How can I keep speaking to myself like that? I was ready to fall asleep and the last thing I was going to say to myself was "ugh, I hate you".
Luckily for me, I have a hubby who is ready to take me to town because he doesn't like people "badmouthing his wife". He took the time to explore why I felt that way. He told me how much it hurts him to hear it. How he feels helpless, watching as I destroy myself and he's unable to do anything to help.
How many partners are watching this happen right now? How many loved ones are pushing themselves beyond reason, beyond expectations? How many people are destroying themselves, their relationships in a quest for an ever-moving goal? To have the perfect body? But maybe not the perfect soul.
So, I decided to continue with my series of super heroines. I decided to keep pushing the #liftlikeagirl stuff, because more than anything, I want to impress upon you - you're perfect as you are. Any changes you plan to make are modifications to an already perfect body.
I for one am stepping up and speaking out. I will not continue to bully myself.
I'm planning on making my way through the super-heroines, I want to reinforce our innate power. Women are STRONG. We get through periods, pregnancy, stretch marks, meonpause....We're made to last.
I started with Wonder Woman and I'm on Supergirl. I'm using acrylic paint on canvas and these are all my own work.