After the workout itself: Oh this isn't too bad. I can still sit on the toilet without cringing...
A day after the workout: Do I really need to go to the toilet? I don't think so.
Two days after the workout: I'm never going to be able to go to the toilet again....
Three days after legs day (and onwards): Oh, I can sort of move again.....oh yeah, this is good. Time for legs day again...
I realised yesterday that I need to rearrange my kitchen, you see, I keep the plates on the bottom shelf of the bottom cupboards. To get to the plates you have to bend down. At least the bowls are on the top shelf of the cupboard within arms reach from standing...
I spent most of yesterday eating from bowls.
Anyway, what is today's feature all about? Certainly not my legs (although pheewwwweeee you should see the bruises people...).
Earlier today I was talking to my dear hubs and we were discussing why I think I've plateaued with my weight loss. One of the main factors came down to the fact that I've not been as rigorous or careful about my diet recently. Why is that? I have a goal in mind, I work out regularly, so why not put the requisite attention into my diet?
The factors here were convoluted and hard to explain - I felt confined by restricting calories and logging my food. Ok, but why? I did it for a couple of years with no issues. Well, you know. I don't want to lose the weight anyway.....
Is that true?
So what IS the issue?
After some time and several more trains of thought we'd gone off on a tangent talking about my birthday, which is on Sunday. I'd said to him that I wished people wouldn't make so much of a fuss about it - after all, I don't "deserve" to have people make a fuss of me.
And after an hour of talking it became slightly clearer. I don't deserve to work for these things. I don't deserve success.
Do I believe that in my rational mind? No, of course not but deep under a lot of other things is this seething pit of something slightly more sinister - I don't feel like I deserve good things.
A lot of us get caught up in this undercurrent of thought - we make do with things that simply are NOT acceptable to us, but we believe (for a multitude of reasons) that we have to make do with it, that we have to get by with it, that we deserve something that is LESS than what we expect.
I don't know and I couldn't give a definitive answer even if I did. I suspect the reasons are legion. Low self-esteem, socialisation protocols, upbringing, morals, learned behaviour, low self-concept could all be factors into why we allow ourselves to settle for second best.
So sisters and brothers - what can we do to improve our celebration of success and maintain our progress?
Sometimes I just need to look over my photos from the day I started logging my weight loss to the photos taken at the start of this year to remember. I've been slack in taking photos recently, because I felt like I wasn't making any progress - irrespective of how many people telling me I look different. See it for yourself guys, take the photos and take them regularly. Even if you're not changing drastically at least that will let you know you need to change something.
If you don't have a reason that's all yours - for example, you're doing it ONLY for someone elses opinion of you (e.g. my partner wants me to lose weight because s/he is not happy with the way I look) your long term success may not be as good. Try to find INTERNAL reasons to do what you do (i.e. are YOU happy with the way you look?). This is a process known as internalisation and it's important in accepting the things you need to do and actually doing them. For example: I want to feel more comfortable when I have to run for the bus, I want to FEEL like I look good or I am tired of not being able to climb the stairs to my apartment in one go.
If you're doing it for someone else you're prey to THEIR whims.
It kind of goes hand in hand with the last point but YOU are the only person who can change you and YOU decide whether you're going to be successful or not.
It's not up to anyone else. I always try blaming my hubs for feeding me nice food, but it's MY choice to eat it. Yes, maybe he could help by not feeding me scrummy cakes etc or bringing me chocolate (which he has done since I asked him not to and explained that in the long term THIS will make me happier) but it's ALWAYS your own choice as to whether it goes into your mouth or not. Don't kid yourself otherwise, you're cheating yourself out of acknowledging you're a powerful person.
Celebrate the things you achieve. Ok, so you didn't lose a pound this month. What did you achieve? Did you manage to get a lower PR for a run? Did you fit back into something you couldn't before? Did you avoid eating something you REALLY wanted to but didn't fit into your plan for the day?
These things are known as non-scale victories (NSVs) and they're just as, if not more important than what the scale says, because we all know the scale is a dirty little liar....
Treat yourself - some people put a penny into a pot for every run they complete to buy something with it, some people have set celebrations for when they reach goals - e.g. a massage for completing a marathon.
Make sure you acknowledge the amazing things you do - every step we make, every pitfall, every mislead thought leads us somewhere. And that place is to success. You DESERVE the success you're working towards, keep rewarding yourself for doing the things that make you happy. It might seem counter-intuitive, but even though what you're doing IS to make you happy, rewarding your success and acknowledging your progress is an important step in sustaining your success and mindset.
I've allowed myself to lose sight of one of the things I tried to achieve. Yes, I'm fitter, yes I'm stronger and more resilient and they're amazing accomplishments on their own but I've lost sight of one of the biggest factors - my lean weight and my body fat.
It's a hard journey and lots of people drop out of it, but we're not going to do that. I won't give up on my dreams - will you?