I have a secret; only a handful of people know it, but I am TERRIFIED of water. Let me be more precise... I'm terrified of bodies of water, you know, lakes, swimming pools... the sea...
Yeah, when I see a body of water, my feet go numb, my stomach churns, I feel like I'm losing balance and the panic sets in. Now, should I be in that body of water (yes, this happens), if you ask me to put my head under water, I would assume you're trying to kill me and I would act accordingly. Expect a "cat put into a full bathtub" reaction and you wouldn't be disappointed.
In fact, just think of me as a (relatively) furless, oversized cat with no chill.
Yeah, when I see a body of water, my feet go numb, my stomach churns, I feel like I'm losing balance and the panic sets in. Now, should I be in that body of water (yes, this happens), if you ask me to put my head under water, I would assume you're trying to kill me and I would act accordingly. Expect a "cat put into a full bathtub" reaction and you wouldn't be disappointed.
In fact, just think of me as a (relatively) furless, oversized cat with no chill.
With that said, not many people know this about me - usually because I tell them that I can't swim. If you happen to know me a bit better, you'll know that isn't true. I can swim. In fact, I can swim relatively well. I'm about as fast as a rhino swimming through quicksand, but I *can* swim...
Secondly, and possibly what seems contrary to every point I've written up until now - I enjoy swimming. I love being in the water (as I said - giant, hairless, chill-less cat).
Secondly, and possibly what seems contrary to every point I've written up until now - I enjoy swimming. I love being in the water (as I said - giant, hairless, chill-less cat).
Over the years, I've become a master at supressing my own terror, well, at least hiding it from anyone else. Usually.
So when BF tells me "Hey, babe, there's a new beginner scuba diving course starting at my school" (yes, he loves scuba diving) and then asks "you want to try it?" the part of my "self" that has all of the curiosity and none of the sense (again, refer back to cat like characteristics... I think I should have 2 or 3 lives left in the bank...) immediately says "YEAH I'D LOVE TO. Why not?" (of course, the part of my "self" that is in fact the cat that is perched on the edge of the bathtub is screaming "I'LL TELL YOU WHY NOT YOU FLAMING IDIOT").
I'm not sure what I thought it would involve. I'm not sure I thought at all!
Allow me to recount the tale of my first ever practical scuba diving lesson...
So when BF tells me "Hey, babe, there's a new beginner scuba diving course starting at my school" (yes, he loves scuba diving) and then asks "you want to try it?" the part of my "self" that has all of the curiosity and none of the sense (again, refer back to cat like characteristics... I think I should have 2 or 3 lives left in the bank...) immediately says "YEAH I'D LOVE TO. Why not?" (of course, the part of my "self" that is in fact the cat that is perched on the edge of the bathtub is screaming "I'LL TELL YOU WHY NOT YOU FLAMING IDIOT").
I'm not sure what I thought it would involve. I'm not sure I thought at all!
Allow me to recount the tale of my first ever practical scuba diving lesson...
It started off fairly harmlessly. We had all changed and then converged at the edge of the pool. The instructor says "ok guys. One length crawl, return one length butterfly. Just do what you can, we want to see how you swim"
I think "Eh. This isn't so bad... (famous last words) I can cheat a crawl and my butterfly isn't so bad."
So I get into the pool second to last...
One lap *oh God, I'm so unfit* return in butterfly *just breathe Michelle*.
Second length *I seriously need to train cardio* return in butterfly *did that turtle just overtake me?*
Third length *I'm going to die here*
An instructor notices that I'm hanging onto the wall trying desperately to catch my breath and comes over to check the realistic probability of my death. After establishing that I wasn't going to die at any point in the immediate future, he asked me if I was ok. I assured him, that I absolutely wasn't, but I'd survive. "Finish up and take a break" he says, as everyone passes me on their fifth length.
Pity. That's good, it'll come in handy.
So I finish and join the others to listen to the new instructions.
Entering and exiting the pool. "Easy" I think to myself as I slide in and out of the pool "no head under water here!"
HA. What kind of naive am I?
We're then all called to the shallow end of the pool... I know what's coming, but I can't make a break for it, everyone will see me.
"This is how to do an apnea" ... apnea. That means underwater. Like. ALL underwater.
What was I thinking?
Into the pool I get when my name is called.
"Ok Michelle, give it a go" the very patient (as i come to learn) instructor tells me. So I get in aaaaand, yeah, I'm not doing that!
After a lot of "not quite right Michelle, try again" and "come on, you can do it" and "no, really, give it another go" and one "DAMMIT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO IT" ... I did it.
I think "Eh. This isn't so bad... (famous last words) I can cheat a crawl and my butterfly isn't so bad."
So I get into the pool second to last...
One lap *oh God, I'm so unfit* return in butterfly *just breathe Michelle*.
Second length *I seriously need to train cardio* return in butterfly *did that turtle just overtake me?*
Third length *I'm going to die here*
An instructor notices that I'm hanging onto the wall trying desperately to catch my breath and comes over to check the realistic probability of my death. After establishing that I wasn't going to die at any point in the immediate future, he asked me if I was ok. I assured him, that I absolutely wasn't, but I'd survive. "Finish up and take a break" he says, as everyone passes me on their fifth length.
Pity. That's good, it'll come in handy.
So I finish and join the others to listen to the new instructions.
Entering and exiting the pool. "Easy" I think to myself as I slide in and out of the pool "no head under water here!"
HA. What kind of naive am I?
We're then all called to the shallow end of the pool... I know what's coming, but I can't make a break for it, everyone will see me.
"This is how to do an apnea" ... apnea. That means underwater. Like. ALL underwater.
What was I thinking?
Into the pool I get when my name is called.
"Ok Michelle, give it a go" the very patient (as i come to learn) instructor tells me. So I get in aaaaand, yeah, I'm not doing that!
After a lot of "not quite right Michelle, try again" and "come on, you can do it" and "no, really, give it another go" and one "DAMMIT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO IT" ... I did it.
There's another 5 weeks of this... am I going to make it??
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