"The healing power of sex work" via The Scavenger
Following the last few stories about fertility and porn I thought I'd continue along the same route.
TL;DR women who work in sex roles - strippers, escorts, tantric practitioners, porn actors and erotic masseurs for example often find that they are looked "down" upon by a society who expects them to be using sex work as a means to an end, rather than something they should enjoy.
It's a classic story of...
Following the last few stories about fertility and porn I thought I'd continue along the same route.
TL;DR women who work in sex roles - strippers, escorts, tantric practitioners, porn actors and erotic masseurs for example often find that they are looked "down" upon by a society who expects them to be using sex work as a means to an end, rather than something they should enjoy.
It's a classic story of...
repressed female sexuality. Women aren't "supposed" to enjoy sex, it's
unladylike. Right? I remember that was the message I felt was given to me as a
girl growing up. Rather than being taught to express my sexuality and enjoy
being female it was seen as a "dirty" thing, something to be ashamed of;
however, I know that was unusual for the time period I grew up in. A lot of my
peers were being taught empowerment and that women should enjoy life in every
way a man does.
But even now, women who work in the sex
industry are looked down upon as being uneducated, cheap, with loose morals. No
one you'd want your son to marry.....but why? These women, like any other are
providing a service. And we know one universal truth. Sex sells.
When you hear of someone who works as an escort or a
stripper usually the most common response is "oh, poor thing - her parents must
have given her a hard time" or "oh, she must need the money to do something
important" or, a more sinister turn of "is she being forced to do this?". Of
course there are very serious concerns relating to women who are being forced
into a life they don't want, but I'm just going to be talking about the ones who
DO choose the life they're living.
Each one of those responses though, you can see is irrational. What do her parents
have to do with this? Are we assuming that a "well bought up" girl wouldn't
turn to sex work? Why? What is wrong with sex?
Sex is an underdiscussed
thing - we're all embarrassed by it but it's a primary need for humans. One of
the things we'll always need, along with food and water so why are we so scared
of it? Of course the very act of it for centuries has been misused by both men
and women for gaining power over another individual, but in a two-way,
consenting relationship - either between two lovers or a worker and their client
why is sex such a bad thing?
Even as I write my blog and occasionally
search for images to help me show what I'm trying to say about pole there are a
plethora of images even to do with pole, referring to paying your way through
something, or relating to the fact that the girls father was absent during her
childhood. Women's sexuality is still poorly understood and even to a point
feared by men. How many times have you heard of a woman being described as a
slut? Or a whore? How many times would a man describe a girl using these terms
after watching her in a porn film? Furthermore how many would express sympathy
at this "poor" girl forced into a life she doesn't want by whatever
circumstances still to watch the porn themselves? It's a double standard and
it's expressed in a lot of places.
As Wrenna explains in the article, she
was always being asked for her exit plan. When is she planning on giving up what
she's doing? The assumption being that she doesn't enjoy it and that it's
beneath her to do such a thing. Even by the men who go to watch her. Why? By all
account she is very highly educated but enjoys being a stripper. In society's
eyes she is an outsider. How can she enjoy letting men watch her take her
clothes off? But how many of you girls enjoy putting pictures of yourself up in
a bikini to show off that summer bod? Is there a difference? At least Wrenna is
getting paid for what she does. We just fool ourselves by thinking we're a
higher class of girl because we're not paid for men to gawp at us. Great plan
ladies but I think we took a wrong turn somewhere!
I'm not advocating
going out and starting a career in sex work but at the same time I'm exploring
my own feelings about women taking such a career path. If someone asked me what
I thought of going into such a career, what would I say? I guess I'm yet to find
out, it's not one of the top discussed career paths. But when it all boils down
to it, why is society so squeamish about such careers? Why do we look down on
such women? Surely they have the sense to be selling the one thing that will
always be in demand.
unladylike. Right? I remember that was the message I felt was given to me as a
girl growing up. Rather than being taught to express my sexuality and enjoy
being female it was seen as a "dirty" thing, something to be ashamed of;
however, I know that was unusual for the time period I grew up in. A lot of my
peers were being taught empowerment and that women should enjoy life in every
way a man does.
But even now, women who work in the sex
industry are looked down upon as being uneducated, cheap, with loose morals. No
one you'd want your son to marry.....but why? These women, like any other are
providing a service. And we know one universal truth. Sex sells.
When you hear of someone who works as an escort or a
stripper usually the most common response is "oh, poor thing - her parents must
have given her a hard time" or "oh, she must need the money to do something
important" or, a more sinister turn of "is she being forced to do this?". Of
course there are very serious concerns relating to women who are being forced
into a life they don't want, but I'm just going to be talking about the ones who
DO choose the life they're living.
Each one of those responses though, you can see is irrational. What do her parents
have to do with this? Are we assuming that a "well bought up" girl wouldn't
turn to sex work? Why? What is wrong with sex?
Sex is an underdiscussed
thing - we're all embarrassed by it but it's a primary need for humans. One of
the things we'll always need, along with food and water so why are we so scared
of it? Of course the very act of it for centuries has been misused by both men
and women for gaining power over another individual, but in a two-way,
consenting relationship - either between two lovers or a worker and their client
why is sex such a bad thing?
Even as I write my blog and occasionally
search for images to help me show what I'm trying to say about pole there are a
plethora of images even to do with pole, referring to paying your way through
something, or relating to the fact that the girls father was absent during her
childhood. Women's sexuality is still poorly understood and even to a point
feared by men. How many times have you heard of a woman being described as a
slut? Or a whore? How many times would a man describe a girl using these terms
after watching her in a porn film? Furthermore how many would express sympathy
at this "poor" girl forced into a life she doesn't want by whatever
circumstances still to watch the porn themselves? It's a double standard and
it's expressed in a lot of places.
As Wrenna explains in the article, she
was always being asked for her exit plan. When is she planning on giving up what
she's doing? The assumption being that she doesn't enjoy it and that it's
beneath her to do such a thing. Even by the men who go to watch her. Why? By all
account she is very highly educated but enjoys being a stripper. In society's
eyes she is an outsider. How can she enjoy letting men watch her take her
clothes off? But how many of you girls enjoy putting pictures of yourself up in
a bikini to show off that summer bod? Is there a difference? At least Wrenna is
getting paid for what she does. We just fool ourselves by thinking we're a
higher class of girl because we're not paid for men to gawp at us. Great plan
ladies but I think we took a wrong turn somewhere!
I'm not advocating
going out and starting a career in sex work but at the same time I'm exploring
my own feelings about women taking such a career path. If someone asked me what
I thought of going into such a career, what would I say? I guess I'm yet to find
out, it's not one of the top discussed career paths. But when it all boils down
to it, why is society so squeamish about such careers? Why do we look down on
such women? Surely they have the sense to be selling the one thing that will
always be in demand.
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