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Sometimes it's all to easy to judge someone.
Take the first case of the delinquent teenager. How easy is it to pass off as just a "bad person"? How easy is it just to label him as a troublemaker for no other reason than boredom?
Don't get me wrong, I don't condone illegal behaviour but I'm keen to explore the reasons behind WHY people indulge in such behaviour.
It's easy to pass psychologists off as
we're doing. We're trying to tell you that there's a bit more to the story than
just what you see on the face. So that maybe, just maybe we can make enough
people stop and think before judging. So that maybe we can stop that vicious
cycle in its tracks.
For example: my friend was telling me
about a child she worked with who had told her to "f*ck off you st*pid f*cking
b*tch", who regularly went around kicking doors, riling up other students and
smoking weed in the toilets.
"What a little sod", I said, but
then she told me the rest. His parents had split up when he was 5, he'd been
sexually abused from that age on by his step-father, his mother was a drug
dealer and had remarried someone who was regularly violent towards her. He also
thought he was the head of a local drugs gang and they suspected he was dealing
drugs himself.
It's easy to dismiss these people. "Scum",
I've heard people say. But has that child chosen his life? No. I'm not saying
that gives him an excuse for the way he behaves, but it helps us to understand a
little better that maybe he's just a frightened child who is acting out. When
you understand that there is another human underneath all of that trouble it
makes it easier to see that there are hopes, dreams, memories in that
individual. It's easy to let all of that potential to slip
away.
Anxiety and depression are exceptionally common
disorders and yet we're still afraid to talk about them. We still don't
understand them and we don't understand the effects these sometimes debilitating
disorders can have.
I'm sure you have your own opinion on
this - but next time you see someone acting out give them a second of thought.
What might be causing that behaviour? Sometimes it's just that they are "like"
that. But most often you'll find there's a nice person underneath. Maybe you
can't change them, but maybe a smile when you see them might just make the
difference to that person - they have enough people frowning at
them.