So you're neurodivergent
You've done this dance a million times. You've tried to lose weight, get fit, change your body to try to feel more stable inside the structure you're living in but nothing really sticks. You get frustrated, looking in the mirror, on your worst days you might tell yourself you're awful. Ugly. Unloveable.
You search the internet for advice, consume social media posts about fitness. Every time you might feel uplifted, ready to give it a go - it must work right? This influencer has a great body. Other times you might tut to yourself and go back to your sofa. All they really said was "try harder". You already know that that doesn't work for you.
Sound familiar?
You search the internet for advice, consume social media posts about fitness. Every time you might feel uplifted, ready to give it a go - it must work right? This influencer has a great body. Other times you might tut to yourself and go back to your sofa. All they really said was "try harder". You already know that that doesn't work for you.
Sound familiar?
The trouble is...
A lot of fitness advice assumes we all experience our bodies in roughly the same way.
That if someone wants to change their body, they simply:
And that can completely change the relationship people have with fitness, motivation, mirrors, progress, and even self-perception itself.
That if someone wants to change their body, they simply:
- notice a problem
- feel motivated
- build discipline
- stay consistent
And that can completely change the relationship people have with fitness, motivation, mirrors, progress, and even self-perception itself.
So what's the difference if I'm neurodivergent?
For many neurodivergent people - particularly ADHD and autistic individuals - body image is not always a fixed, accurate, or emotionally stable experience. 1 + 1 doesn't always = 2. Usually for us, (1 + 1 - 2 ) + (4 / 2) = 3. Somehow.
Instead, it can fluctuate dramatically depending on:
Some people become hyper-aware of their body:
Others experience almost the opposite:
And many of us fluctuate between the two. Which isn't so much fun to experience. One moment being on topof the world, the next feeling like you've crawled out of the sewer after having scared away Pennywise himself.
Instead, it can fluctuate dramatically depending on:
- stress
- sensory state
- emotional regulation
- attention
- interoception (the ability to interpret internal bodily signals)
- past experiences
- environmental feedback
Some people become hyper-aware of their body:
- every movement feels visible
- every perceived flaw feels amplified
- clothing feels “wrong”
- mirrors become emotionally loaded
Others experience almost the opposite:
- disconnect from the body
- difficulty visualising physical change
- trouble noticing gradual progress
- forgetting the body exists until discomfort appears
And many of us fluctuate between the two. Which isn't so much fun to experience. One moment being on topof the world, the next feeling like you've crawled out of the sewer after having scared away Pennywise himself.
ADHD, Emotion, and Body Image
ADHD brains are heavily influenced by emotional salience and immediate feedback. That basically means that we take what we feel emotionally VERY seriously. It's one of the most important things we base our perception of reality on, AND that our brains need to know IMMEDIATELY the outcome of something we've done. Again, it probably kept us alive thousands of years ago but it's not so useful when you're in an office in the centre of a town trying to ignore that jab your snarky co-worker made about how many doughnuts you ate.
That means body image can become:
On a good day:
“I. Am. Hooottttt.”
On a bad sensory or emotional day:
“I look awful. I'm a vision of hell itself. If hell were as bad as I look. Nothing is changing.”
Even if the body itself has not meaningfully changed.
This is partly because ADHD affects:
Your brain has a handy “zoom in” function, that works great on certain features but it also happens to completely ignore the broader context.
That means body image can become:
- extremely intense
- highly reactive
- inconsistent
- tied to momentary emotion rather than objective reality
On a good day:
“I. Am. Hooottttt.”
On a bad sensory or emotional day:
“I look awful. I'm a vision of hell itself. If hell were as bad as I look. Nothing is changing.”
Even if the body itself has not meaningfully changed.
This is partly because ADHD affects:
- attention regulation
- emotional regulation
- reward systems
- self-monitoring
Your brain has a handy “zoom in” function, that works great on certain features but it also happens to completely ignore the broader context.
Neurotypical vs Neurodivergent Body Perception
This doesn’t mean neurotypical people never struggle with body image - of course they do.
But neurotypical body perception is often more stable across time and context.
Many neurodivergent people experience something more variable:
This can create a very complicated relationship with fitness.
But neurotypical body perception is often more stable across time and context.
Many neurodivergent people experience something more variable:
- the body can feel unfamiliar from day to day
- confidence can collapse rapidly
- mirrors may feel unreliable
- progress may not “feel real”
- physical awareness can swing between hyperfocus and disconnection
This can create a very complicated relationship with fitness.
How This Affects Fitness
A lot of fitness culture relies on:
But if your perception of yourself changes constantly, fitness can become emotionally chaotic and psychologically exhausting.
For some neurodivergent people:
Others may hyperfocus intensely on fitness for short periods before burning out completely.
This is one reason neurodivergent people often cycle between:
rather than maintaining steady consistency.
- consistency
- delayed gratification
- stable self-perception
- long-term motivation
But if your perception of yourself changes constantly, fitness can become emotionally chaotic and psychologically exhausting.
For some neurodivergent people:
- one bad photo can completely derail motivation
- lack of immediate visible change feels unbearable
- sensory discomfort makes gyms exhausting
- routines collapse after interruptions
- perfectionism turns missed workouts into “failure”
Others may hyperfocus intensely on fitness for short periods before burning out completely.
This is one reason neurodivergent people often cycle between:
- extreme motivation
and - complete disengagement
rather than maintaining steady consistency.
The Problem With “Just Be Disciplined”
A lot of fitness advice moralises consistency.
If you struggle, the assumption is:
It’s nervous system management.
It’s trying to build habits while:
That requires a very different approach than simply:
“try harder.”
If you struggle, the assumption is:
- you aren’t trying hard enough
- you lack discipline
- you don’t want it enough
It’s nervous system management.
It’s trying to build habits while:
- fighting inconsistent energy
- regulating sensory input
- managing emotional overwhelm
- navigating unstable self-perception
- chasing dopamine
- recovering from burnout
That requires a very different approach than simply:
“try harder.”
What Actually Helps?
Usually:
- reducing all-or-nothing thinking. You can do this actively by focussing on noticing when you're doing it. Yes, it's effortful but with enough practise it will help you stablise things *some* (if not *most*) of the time. You can do this by talking to yourself (out loud is better, but in your head works too), when you notice your inner voice/inner perception taking on a critical aspect.
- tracking objective progress instead of relying on perception. Use objective measurements - take photos once (max twice) a month, with measurements written on them that have been taken using a measuring tape. Always the same clothes, always the same pose, light and measuring tape. Yep, again, it's effortful but it pays off in the long run - ask a friend, family member or even someone online (there are lots of fitness communities - and eventually there will be here too!) to help you remember to do this!
- building flexible routines instead of rigid perfection. Yep, you're not going to do the routine every day of every month. I find writing down my routines on little cards and leaving them on my desk helps me to pick up the routine again once I drop it. I LET myself have off days/weeks from the routine when it no longer seems interesting (and often adopt a slightly different routine for a while - again, with a card). I'll post more about this soon!
- understanding sensory needs - take them seriously. Use headphones, ear plugs, sunglasses or whatever you need to feel more comfortable. Even choosing the right spot can take a lot of sensory pressure off (maybe you're not a gym bunny, but somewhere will work!)
- allowing movement to support the nervous system, not punish the body. Try different things - even in the safety of your own home - and see what suits you. Fitness shouldn't be about punishing yourself, it should be about feeling good in your body and doing something that helps your body feel better.
Most importantly:
Uunderstanding that your perception of your body is not always an objective reflection of reality.
Sometimes the brain is reporting emotion, stress, overstimulation, exhaustion, or dysregulation but not always the truth.
And once you are able to regularly remind yourself of that (write it EVERYWHERE if you need to), fitness stops becoming a punishment for “failing” your body and starts becoming a way to support the brain living inside it.
Fitness will ALWAYS require effort, and if you simply don't have the spoons YET to take it on it doesn't mean you won't one day. The key is to not punish yourself when you don't have the energy to do all of the things society expects us to. No one is ever perfect, not even neurotypicals. Routines change, weight goes up and down and bodies feel good and bad... do what you can, when you can.
Sometimes the brain is reporting emotion, stress, overstimulation, exhaustion, or dysregulation but not always the truth.
And once you are able to regularly remind yourself of that (write it EVERYWHERE if you need to), fitness stops becoming a punishment for “failing” your body and starts becoming a way to support the brain living inside it.
Fitness will ALWAYS require effort, and if you simply don't have the spoons YET to take it on it doesn't mean you won't one day. The key is to not punish yourself when you don't have the energy to do all of the things society expects us to. No one is ever perfect, not even neurotypicals. Routines change, weight goes up and down and bodies feel good and bad... do what you can, when you can.
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